On Procrastination…

Mrs B once said, when asked what she’d like to read—

I am still about procrastination … but that could be that I am procrastinating on finding another topic!

Needless to say that was in 2004…

548125_10151091945136041_908074081_nStarting is always the hardest part, or is that beginning? Starting begets beginnings I suppose. If only I could get as far as that. Sometimes it’s just too hard.

I had an idea at first— for the beginning, but abandoned it. It wasn’t bad, in fact I quite liked it— the thought of it I mean, but the start is always a thought too many and a beginning too few and I always get the feeling I’ve been overtaken by the thought of having to do more than simply think it. And then I consider it. That’s the best part. What would it’d be without having done it? I pore, and I always convince my self to sleep on it.

This is where all the best things aren’t done. I sometimes pretend to sleep, just to see what doesn’t happen— and I’m mystified when I realise I’m not doing it. I don’t want to you see. Because the way I see it, there’s no point in avoiding something if you cannot sleep; and then sleeping to forget it when you’re only going to wake up with a hint of something you’d neglected to put there. And then it’ll bother you ’til you remember it— because you’d have to. And sometimes it’s just too hard.

It’s like getting back to the beginning again; right where I was going to be when I started it yesterday. Only I couldn’t remember what I wanted to say. It’s not that I was trying too hard; it’s just I recalled the killer word: The ‘E’ word. There should have been two of them in ‘demon’— at least it sounds that way to me. Perhaps they couldn’t’ve been bothered much either that day— and lacked the killer word too.

It was right after that cuppa I’d made after the comfy mock-snooze on the pea-green beanbag I’d been engaged in, that it suddenly dawned on me that I’d forgotten something else. This pleased me a great deal. Had it’ve been lingering— even ever so slightly, I may have been a little miffed; but it had gone. The fact that I could, even started to displease me after a while— but the longer the displease, the weaker the ‘effort’ it required and it killed too little a time— time I never really had anything put aside for anyway. To plan too far ahead in my eyes is to get ahead of one’s self— especially around the eyes, and it’s preferable to hide from these things rather than encourage one’s self to do anything about it. A day doing nothing, is sweeter than a day wondering anything. And a day wondering anywhere is an even greater waste.

They say of some, that they take, ‘one step forward and two steps back’ and I say ‘twaddle!’ Primarily because I like the way the ‘d’s’ sound and feel on the tip of the tongue when you’re overly deliberate with the ‘-le’; and secondly, because anyone worth salt would simply stand still, sit down or remain and just be— exactly where they were. Let’s not split peanuts over the minimum effort debacle, when you can eat the whole nut with none what-so-ever, and still pip the nincompoop by a nose. If only you could be bothered…

If I could only get passed the first bit I’d be fine.

Where was I?

I’ll finish it tomorrow…

Image: something I designed for my classroom

Author: DB James

It's one of the finest things we do; write about our lives, because not only do we reveal our minds through revelations our thoughts provide us— But it gives us an incentive to be honest... It's almost impossible not to consider the value of thoughts with the fairly steady flow of them; their rudimentary worth, relevance to our lives and the importance to the people who have them. It's easy to see how distorted a thought can become when left to constant re-examination and how faceless victim/culprit dichotomies are given grounding by a name or a hover-card. If the last few weeks has demonstrated anything, it's how something as simple as a pen-stroke can release the burden and stresses they invariably cause. I've had glimpses into how fears, confessions, pains and crises can be put right by words creating deeds by changing little parts of the world. And I shouldn't be surprised: we write about things and repeat ourselves about things that have meaning to us. It keeps me humble...

14 thoughts on “On Procrastination…”

  1. Damn! I’m a little dizzy now with the starting and double/triple/x-tuple negatives. Waiting has it’s place, but there’s something to be said about rushing forward and then looking back.

    Demeon? I like that version.

    1. Hahaha – somehow the double, triple negative was deemed wrong, which of course is a lot of nonsense. But, it’s all part of my plan to make you think. As for this issue, if you’ll permit me:

      Language is not mathematics and one negative does not cancel out the other. Marlow was quite handy with his quadruple negatives and they are not without their uses – in that context anyway. You can use the ‘not’ to declare a clause as invalid regardless of where it’s placed – the Wayne’s World joke of tagging utterances with it is perfectly grammatical in this sense. Now, the main issue with phrases like, ‘I don’t know nothing’ is that they sound awful, and quite rightly, aren’t advised as good practise. It’s certainly not the sort of thing you’d teach or expect in certain circles. I don’t like it at all, and I’d be mortified if one of my family uttered it – but pragmatically, it’s used for emphasis and is more a cultural marker thank anything else – a lot of these guys aren’t stupid! It’s colourful anyway 🙂

      Anyway, sorry about that – I had meant to write something down about it anyway. It’s nice to think – and yes, I like that version too! – the demon dude…

      1. Well said! In case I was accidentally in disagreement, I’ll concede the point. I took the multiple negatives as a sign confusion/uncertainty. My day job involves much math, but I much prefer human language!

      2. There are times I prefer language to humans! I do have a thing for numbers though – my golfing spreadsheets are a little OTT and before Test Matches I produce my own stats sheet specific to the ground they’re playing…

        Which has nothing to do with procratination and double negatives – ain’t life grand 😀 So what do you do, if you don’t mind me asking?

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