The Alternative Advent: Day 8
The Secret Life of Bailey Cats—
There’s danger in the air…
When like vampire bats,
there’s tacit catsent
circumventing other cats’
nose for a scent—
who’ve their bents made too fat,
Hell dis-management’s lent
dire rules supplemental:
cos unless you’ve not noticed
they’re all derangemental…
So it’s war for clan Bailey:
‘no fire fur first’
for engagement is lore—
before who comes out worst—
we’ll see three pick on one:
in a fight to the last paw…
The sound of discrete feet(s)
abound are coming
from somewhere(s) over there-
It’s Fritz: she sneaks around and sits;
I think sensing purring in the air.
Then a sound disturbs her.
Potts smells catburger.
thinks he’ll have her,
So by stealth on delft paws,
she beelines for the doors
between Jabber’s hind legs
and Pott’s jaws…
Sandwiched tippy-toes to mind her
she’ll be sure they’ll not find fur
to lead them;
cos they know
she’s frightened of claws.
Tri’s pounces were announcements,
she’d discredit then denounce them—
any cat who had motives
less emotive than hers.
No tit-for-tat, prattle-splat
at this or spat at that
She’ll take a look
in every nook such are
Guggie’s slink was succinct
and instinctively trying.
her cruelty ensuredly unindemnifying.
So when she offered to nobble
Fritz’s mid-thorax bobble:
an offer as kind as maligned by design.
“Fluff?” Frtiz thought ought,
not be enough—
tried to “break me—
and waved away the axe—
With revolt in her steps
you can bet that she crept
like a colt from the bolt
A prima facie evasion,
from oedemas and abrasions;
Fritz was not
in way, shape or form
Although Fritz found the chasing
at times too defacing
she was so gracefully pacey and
If I’d’ve seen her,
I would’ve timed her.
but that’s before she’d seen
and sheaningly gleaned
57 thoughts on “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this…”
Great! Enjoyed this and I like the visual stuff you are doing on your site.
Thank you very much – I think it’s the perfect time of year to get a little theatrical, not that I need much of an excuse 🙂
Great poem! You inspired this haiku with it! 😉
“The Wind Makes The Fur Fly”
by Ry Hakari
Feline fallacies —
Ha! I replied to the pingback – thank you 😀 There are an awful lot of f’s in cat!
It’s a fact they are f’n fits of them… their friction’s no fiction friend!
That’s great! Thank you very much! I’ll forward your syllables to the kitties 😀
This was fun reading out-loud. 🙂
You’re brave! lol I’m glad you gave it a go – bit by bit the meter is is pretty straightforward, but they recycle depending on the anxiety levels of poor Fritz which can throw it off, and getting the rhyming scheme right when doing that is a nightmare – it all becomes syntactically dependant , so to change one word means rearranging half a dozen.
That’s made me smile! 😀
I’m glad I made you smile, and so it makes me smile. 🙂
I suppose it was out of habit. I read Dr. Seuss to my daughter every night when she was little.
Good choice! I didn’t sleep for more than a couple of minutes at a time until I was three, so I used to have crime fiction and all sorts read to me. My first nephew is a Gruffalo’s Child! 😀
You have me outdone, I was still into Winnie the Pooh. 🙂
I’m still into Winnie the Pooh. It’s wonderful stuff – I’ve got some notes I’m holding back which feature Eeyore quite prominently… 😀
Eeyore is my favorite Pooh character. I was feverish as a child, and dreamed that Pooh was chasing me through the 1000 acre wood. I have never gotten over it…
Ha, isn’t it the hundred acre wood! lol – I can’t imagine a Englishman thinking in such extravagant volumes! Some of his insights are just brilliantly clever – as is so much of the Milne’s work. I shudder at the rubbish produced for kids these days – but I was a freak and not a typical learner – not dissimilar to Eeyore, just a little more cheerful! 😀
I have to say I am moderately intelligent..I thank Tigger and Piglet for that. 🙂
Ha! They’ve all got personality disorders – but that’s why they’re so believable. I love them – brilliant characters! I know you are, funny too! And back in form I think 😀
Most humans have personality disorders, maybe they were patterned from real people. Thank you! Yes, I am back in my element again a bit, for now. 🙂
You’re welcome 😀 Personality disorders are wildly entertaining. One of the greatest kids’ film, that’s really too clever for kids: Toy Story – the Coen brothers co-wrote it by the way – has personality disorders at its very core. Without it, no film. Even the kids are fucked up in that film – although I once wrote a piece suggesting it was actually a commentary on the Nixon administration. I wish I had a copy of it, I had so much fun putting it together. God, over 15 years ago… Too many words in-between!
Time flies while we’re having fun, doesn’t it? I wrote a post about my daughters love for Woody. You should redo it sometime. 🙂
I couldn’t possibly – but I’d love to have a look at it – I didn’t realise you’d left this! Oooh, your other face is back too!
I hate to link drop. Yeah, changed my face back, my forehead looked huge in the other. 🙂
*snort* hahaha! Foreheads get such a rough deal! I remember a guy at primary school who used to spaz out when people called him spam! Bless him 😀
If it’s large enough to use as a projector screen..well, that’s just a shame. 🙂
OMG hahah! Your head is not a moon! 😀
Thanks, lol. 🙂
lol I hope you’re feeling super today – how’s the pain?
Hmm, that’s a tough one…I will link drop only this one time! http://knockedoverbyafeather.wordpress.com/2013/12/10/strange-days/
The day seems a bit brighter!
Hahaha! Don’t be daft – you can point me in the right direction anytime 😀 *goesreads*
I will keep that in mind.. lol
You should, it’s easy to miss posts, my reader can get a little bloated – I’m not sure how I can rectify that – I want to support the guys who read me back, but obviously I have favourites :p lol
I know, so do I. lol I have recently weeded through some to make it easier not to miss them. 🙂
I’ll work it out, since I took my break I’ve been found by many many more than I’ve found myself and it’s a little daunting. I have toyed with bookmarking, but I’d like to keep it it through the reader if possible! It’s certainly taking chunks out of my thinking time – I haven’t defined an appropriate etiquette for it all yet, but I will 😀
It was doing the same thing to me, which is why I have recently adopted a short list of can’t miss blogs, otherwise I would never write a thing myself…reading all day long! 🙂
I know right! I think in the ideal world we’d have 36 hour days and perfect weather! 😀
That would be awesome!
It most certainly would – Autumn would love it; she’d get an extra dinner! 😀
Don’t forget cat naps. lol
Ha! It’s such a terrible description, the little beggars are barely awake! There must be a napping equivalent to wakefulness 😀
The closest one I know of is dozing, which I seem to do more of the closer I get to 40. 🙂
I wish I could just have a nod whenever I felt like it – sleep has been the bane of my life! Over the last few years I’ve made a concerted effort to sleep a little more, if possible – but it’s not always possible! There’s a critical period after waking up that I find easier than all others to fall asleep in – but if I miss it, it’s just a waiting game!
I have always been a bed only sleeper, but now I am starting to drift off no matter where I am, which could be dangerous given the wrong situation. lol
Ha! That’s too funny to think about. I did have the occasional habit of nodding off on the train home from work, which wasn’t too bad on a weekday – on a Sunday however, it could be a nightmare because there’s a limited service some days, and when you’re in the sticks, you can wind up waiting about for while in weird places :p
By the way, this must be the longest comment thread ever. 🙂
love this. you are the derangemental version of dr. seuss. )
Hahaha! That’s pretty awesome – so sorry for the delay – I think my notifications have got the twitches. Mmmm, derangemental! 😀
This is crazy awesome. I especially loved: as kind as maligned by design. The rhythm and the sound (in my mind when I read it). Yes…Beautiful post.
Thank you 😀 Love the comment – glad you like it! I feel like meowing just for you :p
to be the odd man IN, to begin. A BAT thou does swing with concise precision. A FIRST of long times to sit as too forward in “thrall”. I’m close to diagnose so a toast with non boast… Here be thy TOAST of THANK YOU.
If the “jot” was a heartbeat, you’d have sprinted a MARATHON!
Thank you very much, you’re welcome.
I had cats a lot all through my life. I had a cat once that had to bring it on with a raccoon or a few of them & kind of hid & got out of the way. I was forced to whoop some booty to all the raccoons like about 3-5 at my cat. These raccoons thought it was their territory as they had come from a place to where we live. It was a mess after I got done with them. I love this poetry here & yes cats get into mayhem with each other. I have seen it too. I love them a lot
Ha! That’s funny, and thanks for enjoying it – they can be a sneaky bunch. My cat gets a bit needy this time of year and makes working impossible – she’s taken to snoozing on my laptop too! But what can you do? :p
That’s so true other than just push them off. they will come back or sit somewhere else.
Only if they lack stubbornness!