In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this…

The Alternative Advent: Day 8

bailey catsThe Secret Life of Bailey Cats—

There’s danger in the air…

When like vampire bats,
there’s tacit catsent
circumventing other cats’
nose for a scent—

And feline-combat
who’ve their bents made too fat,
Hell dis-management’s lent
dire rules supplemental:
cos unless you’ve not noticed
they’re all derangemental…

So it’s war for clan Bailey:
‘no fire fur first’
for engagement is lore—
before who comes out worst—
we’ll see three pick on one:
in a fight to the last paw…

The sound of discrete feet(s)
abound are coming
from somewhere(s) over there-
It’s Fritz: she sneaks around and sits;
I think sensing purring in the air.

Then a sound disturbs her.
Potts smells catburger.
and Jabber,
thinks he’ll have her,
to himself.

So by stealth on delft paws,
she beelines for the doors
between Jabber’s hind legs
and Pott’s jaws…

Sandwiched tippy-toes to mind her
she’ll be sure they’ll not find fur
to lead them;
cos they know
she’s frightened of claws.

Tri’s pounces were announcements,
she’d discredit then denounce them—
any cat who had motives
less emotive than hers.

No tit-for-tat, prattle-splat
at this or spat at that
or bric-a-brac
and cranny.

She’ll take a look
in every nook such are
snooks-a-cocked, uncannily.
Guggie’s slink was succinct
and instinctively trying.
her cruelty ensuredly unindemnifying.

So when she offered to nobble
Fritz’s mid-thorax bobble:
an offer as kind as maligned by design.
“Fluff?” Frtiz thought ought,
not be enough—
had Guggie
tried to “break me—
in half!”

She puffed
and waved away the axe—
and immediately.

Declined…

With revolt in her steps
you can bet that she crept
like a colt from the bolt
(e)scapegracely.

A prima facie evasion,
from oedemas and abrasions;
Fritz was not
in way, shape or form
porkholt.

Although Fritz found the chasing
at times too defacing
she was so gracefully pacey and
If I’d’ve seen her,
I would’ve timed her.
but that’s before she’d seen
gleaming
and sheaningly gleaned
the dreamcat
catkilling
machine:

Guggenheimer…

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens…

Abraham Lincoln
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57 thoughts on “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this…

  1. Pingback: New Haiku – “The Wind Makes The Fur Fly” | hakariconstant

    1. JALBN 2.0 Ishmael Received Post author

      You’re brave! lol I’m glad you gave it a go – bit by bit the meter is is pretty straightforward, but they recycle depending on the anxiety levels of poor Fritz which can throw it off, and getting the rhyming scheme right when doing that is a nightmare – it all becomes syntactically dependant , so to change one word means rearranging half a dozen.

      That’s made me smile! 😀

      Reply
      1. merbear74

        I’m glad I made you smile, and so it makes me smile. 🙂

        I suppose it was out of habit. I read Dr. Seuss to my daughter every night when she was little.

      2. merbear74

        Eeyore is my favorite Pooh character. I was feverish as a child, and dreamed that Pooh was chasing me through the 1000 acre wood. I have never gotten over it…

      3. JALBN 2.0 Ishmael Received Post author

        Ha, isn’t it the hundred acre wood! lol – I can’t imagine a Englishman thinking in such extravagant volumes! Some of his insights are just brilliantly clever – as is so much of the Milne’s work. I shudder at the rubbish produced for kids these days – but I was a freak and not a typical learner – not dissimilar to Eeyore, just a little more cheerful! 😀

      4. merbear74

        Most humans have personality disorders, maybe they were patterned from real people. Thank you! Yes, I am back in my element again a bit, for now. 🙂

      5. JALBN 2.0 Ishmael Received Post author

        You’re welcome 😀 Personality disorders are wildly entertaining. One of the greatest kids’ film, that’s really too clever for kids: Toy Story – the Coen brothers co-wrote it by the way – has personality disorders at its very core. Without it, no film. Even the kids are fucked up in that film – although I once wrote a piece suggesting it was actually a commentary on the Nixon administration. I wish I had a copy of it, I had so much fun putting it together. God, over 15 years ago… Too many words in-between!

      6. JALBN 2.0 Ishmael Received Post author

        You should, it’s easy to miss posts, my reader can get a little bloated – I’m not sure how I can rectify that – I want to support the guys who read me back, but obviously I have favourites :p lol

      7. JALBN 2.0 Ishmael Received Post author

        I’ll work it out, since I took my break I’ve been found by many many more than I’ve found myself and it’s a little daunting. I have toyed with bookmarking, but I’d like to keep it it through the reader if possible! It’s certainly taking chunks out of my thinking time – I haven’t defined an appropriate etiquette for it all yet, but I will 😀

      8. merbear74

        It was doing the same thing to me, which is why I have recently adopted a short list of can’t miss blogs, otherwise I would never write a thing myself…reading all day long! 🙂

      9. JALBN 2.0 Ishmael Received Post author

        I wish I could just have a nod whenever I felt like it – sleep has been the bane of my life! Over the last few years I’ve made a concerted effort to sleep a little more, if possible – but it’s not always possible! There’s a critical period after waking up that I find easier than all others to fall asleep in – but if I miss it, it’s just a waiting game!

      10. merbear74

        I have always been a bed only sleeper, but now I am starting to drift off no matter where I am, which could be dangerous given the wrong situation. lol

      11. JALBN 2.0 Ishmael Received Post author

        Ha! That’s too funny to think about. I did have the occasional habit of nodding off on the train home from work, which wasn’t too bad on a weekday – on a Sunday however, it could be a nightmare because there’s a limited service some days, and when you’re in the sticks, you can wind up waiting about for while in weird places :p

  2. alghaumon

    to be the odd man IN, to begin. A BAT thou does swing with concise precision. A FIRST of long times to sit as too forward in “thrall”. I’m close to diagnose so a toast with non boast… Here be thy TOAST of THANK YOU.
    If the “jot” was a heartbeat, you’d have sprinted a MARATHON!
    “D”

    Reply
  3. bloggingbyrgottier

    Hi!
    I had cats a lot all through my life. I had a cat once that had to bring it on with a raccoon or a few of them & kind of hid & got out of the way. I was forced to whoop some booty to all the raccoons like about 3-5 at my cat. These raccoons thought it was their territory as they had come from a place to where we live. It was a mess after I got done with them. I love this poetry here & yes cats get into mayhem with each other. I have seen it too. I love them a lot
    Rodney

    Reply
    1. JALBN 2.0 Ishmael Received Post author

      Ha! That’s funny, and thanks for enjoying it – they can be a sneaky bunch. My cat gets a bit needy this time of year and makes working impossible – she’s taken to snoozing on my laptop too! But what can you do? :p

      Reply

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